During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
