I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
