yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
