I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
