they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
