were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
