Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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