He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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