do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
