Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
