Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
