when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
