my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
