Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize