he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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