oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize