Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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