I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
