you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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