3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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