that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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