That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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