I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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