think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
