Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
