he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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