I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
