Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
love makes seman taste better
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
