Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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