How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
