...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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