I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
