I puked a lego.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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