I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
