your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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