i barfeds in our rink
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
