using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
