very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize