Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
