I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
