is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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