Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
