absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
