I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
