that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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