I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
my shit smells like andre
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
