Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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