Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
