yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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