well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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