i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have fence marks all over my body
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
