Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
