last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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