Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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