I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
