That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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