a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
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we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
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we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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