Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
